As queer people, many of us don’t fit into mainstream ideas about relationships. Instead, we create our own support systems—choosing family, valuing friendships as deeply as romantic partners, and forming connections that go beyond traditional labels. For some, this includes consensual non-monogamy and polyamory, which offer different ways of sharing love and care.
Consensual non-monogamy and polyamory challenge the idea that love is limited or that giving love to multiple people somehow means divided love or intention. While monogamy works well for many, others find that polyamory or consensual non-monogamy allows them to form multiple meaningful relationships. Just as we care for many people in our lives—friends, family, lovers, community—some of us choose to build intimate connections with multiple partners, all while creating systems of support that fulfill our needs for connection.
Open and honest communication is the lifeblood of reciprocity. In non-monogamous relationships, thoughtfully communicating how we give and receive care is especially important. Clear communication, setting boundaries, and managing expectations are key to maintaining healthy connections of all kinds. Reflecting on how you and your loved ones express affection can help ensure that everyone’s needs are understood and met. A great way to learn more about how to care for a loved one is by discussing and exploring how we like to give and receive love. Showing up for your loved ones may include things like:
Showing love takes effort, but the time and care we put into our relationships help them grow. This Valentine’s season, as we reflect on love, connection, and the expansive forms it can take, we invite you to take the opportunity to reflect on how you can expand and enrich the love you share—whether with partners, friends, family, or community. As Polysecure author Jessica Fern reminds us, “Attachment security isn’t about the number of partners we have; it’s about the quality of the connections we create.” No matter how many or what kind of meaningful relationships we have, what truly matters is the trust, communication, and care we invest into them.
What bonds are you ready to cultivate more deeply this year? How can you practice your ability to show love expansively?
With abundant love,
Lo Horst (they/she) & Franklin Younger (they/them)
San Diego Pride raises funds primarily through festival ticket and beverage sales, and through sponsorships, and exhibitor fees. These funds support San Diego Pride’s community philanthropy which has distributed more than $2.5 million in advancement of its mission to foster pride, equality, and respect for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities locally, nationally, and globally.
