40 Years of Pride/ Remembering with Pride

One of the most wonderful things about working for San Diego Pride is that I have the opportunity to speak with so many people in our LGBTQ+ community and hear their stories. Recently, I had the good fortune to meet Mark Lawrence, a wonderful 64-year-old nurse who works for Blue Shield of California as an inpatient care manager. Mark attended his first San Diego Pride Parade in 1978, but we met because his company’s LGBT Employee Resource Group invited him to ride on their 2018 parade float with his husband Wallace. Once I heard that Mark had attended both our most recent Pride AND one of the first Pride celebrations in San Diego, I had to sit down with him to hear what he thought about the changes in the event and our community over the past 40 years. 

During our chat, Mark shared with me that he is from a rural, small town and came to San Diego to, as he put it, “gain more freedom and independence.” Even before coming out though, he knew he was different, he just didn’t know how or why. “I faced teasing and bullying on a daily basis! I was called names, had my books knocked out of hands and was even shoved in a locker by the class bullies.” I could see the frustration on Mark’s face, but I could also see resolve. Despite the hostility, Mark never let the taunting he faced affect how he felt about himself or his love for people. “I loved people. I wanted to be a nurse someday. I even volunteered as the assistant to the school nurse in his high school.”  

Mark eventually left the rural life for sunny San Diego. He began to look for other people that were like him. He found a sense of community in gay bars such as The Hut, The Shadows, and The Brass Rail, even though it was common at the time for the bars to experience regular police raids. To meet others, he also attended the 1978 Pride Parade when he was just 24. It was far smaller than today’s event with just a handful of floats and a few convertibles thrown in with the marching contingents. While the LGBT civil rights movement was growing, Mark remembers that many people still feared being “outed” and potentially losing their jobs for attending the parade. Police did not participate in the parade back then, but rather would keep anti-gay protesters at bay on the sidewalks. Some protesters went as far as to throw trash at or even spit on the parade participants. His favorite part was at the end of the parade where LGBT attendees were encouraged to link arms together, and follow the parade down to the park.

I was touched by the tenderness in his voice as he shared his memories from 40 years ago. When I asked him what struck him as the biggest change from 1978 to 2018, he said he was “truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of positivity and support he felt from the thousands who attended the parade.” He marveled at not only the size of the crowd, but also the diversity of the audience that included every race, ethnicity, and age cheering the contingents on. He especially loved that the elected officials and police officers who used to shun the event were now “enthusiastic participants,” as he called them. Mark also revealed that he was “thrilled” to be able to share his first experience being in the parade with his husband Wallace. “We have been ‘joined at the hip’ for over 38 years and legally married for six.” They requested that RuPaul’s song “American” be played by the DJ while they floated down University Avenue: 

“You-ou-ou, you got the right! Stand up for yourself, we’ve just begun to fight.

Ain’t no way we’re going back in time – forward to the future baby, yours and mine!”

These upbeat lyrics of self-acceptance match Mark’s positive attitude about being a proud, out gay man. When I asked him to offer some advice to the young LGBT people in San Diego who might be experiencing some of the bullying he went through as a youth, he didn’t miss a beat: “Don’t take anything anyone else says about you to heart. Love yourself for who you are, and choose to be with friends who will respect and support you. You’ll find your people!” Over the years, Mark has found his people. In the next few years, Marks is looking forward to retirement with Wallace. They plan to spend more time enjoying their backyard patio and goldfish pond and more nights out with friends at Diversionary Theater. More quiet times do not mean that his love for the hustle and bustle of Pride is diminishing. He is looking forward to joining everyone in the community this July for this year’s 50^th Anniversary of Stonewall.