Dear Pride Family,
Growing up on the island of Guam, I had a very Catholic upbringing. When I started to experience the stirrings of queer identity as a youth, I was afraid of it. I did not see how being gay would even fit in with Catholic teaching and CHamoru culture. I did not know of any (openly) LGBTQ+ people that I could look to as a role model — as an example of success.
My religious trauma is not one brought on by overly oppressive doctrine and hate, as is the experience of many LGBTQ+ people. Rather, I struggled with the existential thought that to live authentically as a queer person meant to live a life separate from my family, my cultural heritage, and ultimately the love of God.
Mass was a place where I felt a feeling of transcendent belonging. Most Sundays my family did not sit together in the congregation for mass because we were participating in the services. Unable to reconcile the Church’s teachings on LGBT people, I began to feel less welcome and stopped going.
I was relatively unfazed by the recent news about Pope Francis approving blessings for same-sex couples. This update from The Vatican is a bold step toward inclusion, and also not bold enough. Pope Francis has done more for LGBTQ+ people than any other pontiff before him, and yet upholds a doctrine that marriage is between a man and a woman. I am thinking of those queer Catholics, who will be grateful for this recognition from the Church, and that it gives them some hope. At the same time, it very explicitly does not seek to validate or change the status of same-sex unions. It’s a reminder to all of us of how tenuous and fragile marriage equality is in our country.
The latest document concerning same-sex couples from The Vatican discusses at length the concept of a “blessing.” The Church provides an abundance of scriptural justification for what does and does not constitute a blessing, while also acknowledging that “those seeking a blessing should not be required to have prior to moral perfection.”
For me, the joy I have found in the LGBTQ+ community – both at large and in my close circle – has been the biggest blessing in my life. A blessing that I have received without justification or limitations. It is one of the reasons why Light Up the Cathedral is my favorite event during Pride Week, as affirming faith leaders gather together to celebrate the beauty of the LGBTQ+ community – something too many people don’t get to experience in the faith communities we grew up in.
As we gather to celebrate the holidays this weekend with our families, either ones we were born into or ones we chose, let us remember that our love is a blessing. The resilience of our community is a blessing.
Queer people everywhere are a blessing. You are a blessing.
With Pride,
Joe Fejeran (he/him)
Executive Projects Manager
Interim Co-Executive Directors
San Diego Pride raises funds primarily through festival ticket and beverage sales, and through sponsorships, and exhibitor fees. These funds support San Diego Pride’s community philanthropy which has distributed more than $2.5 million in advancement of its mission to foster pride, equality, and respect for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities locally, nationally, and globally.
